okay, but, don't

am i a ghost who broke your heart??

there is nothing i can do to stop missing you, is there?

the one that i can’t trace - do i want you
to hold me near, smile at me as if you were mine, or
is it just a look at what i desperately hope
my own future could be? 

but for the warm feeling
i get in my stomach when you are around
a quiet fluttering (this is right, this is what i want) 

and i am loved, too - by the boy i love in this lifetime, here
(the man i hope to love when a lifetime has passed), and
i do not want to ask for 
well, for anything from you -
we do not know each other -  

and you are probably loved already - how could you not be;
boyish charm at 40, bright eyes, a reassuring smile and a smirk
like a private joke between friends, yet welcoming to anyone? 

you are - you are the boy i would have loved, had i been a lifetime ago
(i didn’t know you then, but i am certain i would have)
you are the man i would love if i were a lifetime ahead
(but i’m not) 

sometimes i don’t know whether i want to be you,
or just be close to you